This was my first year experiencing Lent, Holy Week and the Triduum since converting to Catholicism and I must say it was one of the most awesome experiences of my life.
This Lent was not easy, but was filled with disappointments and changes of plans. As many of you know, plans that I had made for years had to be put indefinitely on hold. Watching dreams be delayed or possibly denied has been difficult. It was also during Lent that I became quite personally invested in the case of Terri Schiavo. Watching her die has been especially painful. Yet, through it all, by God’s grace, I stayed the course and made it to Easter, my faith strengthened and enlivened. Although I could never fully appreciate the sufferings of Jesus for us, I was able to at least join my minimal suffering and anxiety to his sufferings and his sacrifice.
Holy Week was especially difficult this year, but also quite a blessing. Much of it was preoccupied with praying and working for Terri Schiavo, which made it all the more painful, especially as one person after another failed her. The fasting made me somewhat weak, but it went a long way towards helping me identify with Jesus’s sufferings in such a minimal way. I also saw it as a chance to stand in solidarity with Terri who was receiving no food or water.
I began my first Catholic Triduum with Holy Thursday and was reminded visually and vocally of Christ’s command to love one another, something I’m not always the best at. Good Friday, especially the reading of the Passion, brought home the sacrifice of our Lord and my part in it. Taking the role of the crowd is disturbing and painful, yet we play that role every time we sin. I especially loved the veneration of the holy cross. There’s something humbling and sublime about kneeling before the foot of the Cross.
The Vigil was especially amazing this year. The Old Testament readings, done in the dark, were especially moving and drove home the saving power of God among his people. Singing the Gloria, especially after a long Lent and Holy Week, created a new sense of jubilation in my heart. As we did the baptisms, receptions, and confirmations, I was struck by how ancient these liturgies are (the Vigil is the earliest known form of Christian worship used today) and felt that I was back in the second century for a few brief moments. It also reminded me of my own reception and confirmation, which brought back a flood of joy. And of course, I found the greatest comfort and power in the first communion of Easter. My thoughts turned immediately to how precious and sacred life is and how blessed I am to be alive and healthy. However, Good Friday still stands as a vivid reminder of the precariousness of life in a hostile word.
The Vigil like Lent, Holy Week, and the Triduum, took me more fully into the life of Christ, beyond mere intellectual assent. I have always believed in the Passion, Death, and Resurrection or our Lord. This year liturgically, emotionally, and spiritually, as much as is possible, I lived it.
Image from Novgorod State United Museum