A Deo et Rege

I’m not one to keep journals, probably because I am too inclined towards ADHD to ever put my thoughts onto paper for any definite length of time in any systematic way.  I have, however, been in the habit of keeping record of prayer requests.  I’m not sure why, probably because I am into history and since my faith is so important to me, these represent my history. 

I found an old list of prayer requests today, dating back to late 1999 and early 2000, back when I was a questioning evangelical.  This was a seminal period in my life and it’s fascinating to see my thoughts.  This journal reveals some major insights and as ashamed as I am to admit how dorky I am, I actually read it with great anticipation to find out what I thought 5 years ago. 

First, I noticed I have sadly forgotten many of the faces of the names I prayed for so earnestly those 5 years ago.  It really bothers me to see a name, especially one appearing frequently, and have no idea who it was.  Second, I realize that some things have really changed for the better since then and God has answered many of my prayers from 1999 and 2000.  Third, many of the struggles I had in 1999, I am still struggling with.  I was praying then for grad school and I’m praying now for grad school, to give one example.  Fourth, I can really see my movement from evangelicalism towards Catholicism in these pages.  I’m thanking God for "Christian holy days" and the "Book of Common Prayer" and "the Saints."  I had little clue what they truly were at this point, but they clearly impacted me.  I also thanked God that I realized that "prayer isn’t emotion."  It’s somewhat enigmatic, but contextually, I was attending contemporary worship services where emotionalism ruled and I didn’t fit it.  In the next breath I thanked God for C.S. Lewis, so I’m guessing that Mr. Lewis played a big part in revealing that to me.  Still, like the names that I prayed so diligently for during that winter, I may never know.

Shovel (yes, you know, for digging) image from Kid’s Domain

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me regarding the GRE.  I don’t like to post my successes or failures really, but since I talked so much about this, I’ll give everyone an idea of how I did.

Verbal- low 700s
Quantatative- mid 500s
Writing- Not scored yet

Honestly, I am pleased with my results and although my math score is low by many standards, for me, given my dislike of and frustration with mathematics, it is a rousing success!  Once again, thanks to all those who prayed.  Thanks also to St. Thomas Aquinas and especially to God, by whose grace we receive all gifts.