I always love hearing about politicians who propose “self-regulating” procedures for companies. I can’t remember the exact statistic, but in one such case of self regulation about 12% of companies complied. The other companies, for obvious reasons, decided it wasn’t worth the bother. This is often the case for Christians as well. Their sins are between them and God and it’s no one else’s business. God, however, is a gentleman: he won’t (normally) get in the way of our sinning if we will to do it. Other than the occasional consequences, sin largely goes unpunished in this life too, especially in our permissive societies. So, sinful behavior essentially becomes self-regulated. And we know how well that works!

Although uninformed people may dismiss it as simply legalism, the idea of confession of our sins provides freedom to many people. My first confession is soon and I’m scared as hell, but I know it’s the medicine I have to take. Why does anyone want to go through confession some would ask? For me, it has several sides to it. First, I simply want forgiven. I believe that God gave the Church the keys and this is the way to clean my soul. I am sorry for my sins and want the absolution. I want to be restored to God and his Church. Second, there are alot of things I’d like to get off my chest, do the penance/restitution (if necessary) and get on with my life. Some things weigh us down for too long. This is the way of saying “hasta la vista.” Third and finally, I hate my sinning, especially particular sins. I have failed in “self regulation” for so long. It simply doesn’t work. I want a confessor who is firm (and also caring) to help me grow in holiness and out of the patterns of sin that infect my life. Sure it may not happen immediately, but we have to start somewhere. I know I can’t heal myself; I need God! And God gave us his Church as the standard vehicle for that healing. Submitting to the judgment of the Church, although difficult for a 21st century American, is (paradoxically to some) incredibly freeing.

My first confession is Saturday and I still have alot of anxiety and fear. But I also can’t wait to do it. In fact, I crave it. I’ve been sick for too long; I’m ready for the cure. Please keep me in your prayers.